"I've been dating a married man for about eight months now. I never planned for it but it just sorta happen after we started working together. He's been telling me for the last 4 months that he's going to leave his wife, but still hasn't. He hasn't even told her from what I can tell.
How can I get him to leave his wife since he doesn't seem to want to let me go either? I tried to stop talking to him but that only lasted a few days. I'm in love with him and it hurts knowing I have to share him."
First, I must say I think it’s a shitty thing to date someone who you know is already in a relationship. Second, if he will cheat with you, I believe he will eventually cheat on you. He’s already shown you how little he values relationships. The guy has no morals. He doesn’t care about the feelings of others, only that he gets what he wants. Any good man would leave a relationship before getting into another one.
And even if he does leave her completely for you, he is never going to respect you, and you will never be able to trust him. Why? Because the moment he exhibits even the slightest shady behavior, you’re going to jump to the conclusion that he is cheating, because that’s what he did to her with you. Your relationship will have no trust, no respect, no honestly, no nothing.
BUT, if you still insist on giving it a try, then you need to just tell him you plan to leave. You leave with love. You don’t give him an ultimatum, you don’t threaten him. You say, “I can’t do this anymore. I love you, I enjoy the time we spend together, but I need more. I need someone who is with me and only me.” That’s it!
If he truly wants you more than he wants her, then he will leave her for you. If he chooses to stay, then what he has with her is more important than what you guys have or ever had. If you don’t do that, then it’s just going to continue until he gets tired of you and kicks you to the curb for another woman.
What you should REALLY do is tell the wife about the affair. She has a right to know. But of course, you're not going to do that.