Just because they don't hit you doesn't mean they aren't abusive.

Just because a person (man or woman) doesn’t grab you nor hit you doesn’t mean they aren’t abusive.

There are many types of abuse. Abuse is also:

When they put you down or humiliate you in front of others.

"You're so stupid, you can't do anything right!"

"Why don't you grow the fuck up?"

"The way you dress is a constant embarrassment to me."

When they call you horrible names.

"You're just a stupid bitch!

"You fucking cunt, whore!"

When they accuse you of being “too sensitive” or “too emotional” in order to deflect their abusive remarks.

"Why the fuck are you crying for? Why you making such a big out of it?"

"Geez, you're so fucking sensitive. You're like a child!"

When they demean your opinions, ideas, suggestions, or needs.

"You don't know what the fuck you're doing. Let me handle it!"

"Oh my God, that's so stupid. You don't know anything."

When they try to control you and treat you like a child. They decide where you can and can’t go, who you can and can’t see.

"Where the fuck are you going? You never told me you were going anywhere."

When they insist on checking your phone to see who texts and calls you.

“I think my ex cheating on me in the past so I’m going to need to check your phone and social media accounts every now and then to make sure you’re not cheating on me. You have nothing to hide anyways, right?"

When they try to isolate you from family and friends.

"Why are you going to go see them? They don't even like hanging out with you. I'm the only one that likes you."

When they gaslight you to make doubt your own sanity and perception.

"I know I texted you that I’ll be home at 10, but stuff came up and I’m here now. I probably meant to text you 11 but pressed the wrong key. Anyways, I’m only an hour and a half late. You’re seriously overreacting and acting crazy. I’m not listening to your crap again tonight. I came home, didn’t I?"

When they don’t believe you and accuse you of wrongdoing.

"Where were you yesterday after work? You didn't answer me for two hours. Don't fucking lie to me!"

When they blame you for their problems or life difficulties.

"This is all your fucking fault. If you hadn't been complaining about not giving you attention, I would have gotten done everything I needed to do. You're so selfish!"

When they don’t even care whether you cry yourself to sleep because of something they did.

Don’t tolerate verbal or emotional abuse thinking it’s OK because it’s not physical. Don't allow them to mistreat you, disrespect you, tear you down emotionally. Because oftentimes their goal is to destroy your self-esteem to a point where you begin to believe no one else will want you. And they make this worse by slowly isolating you from family and friends, from anyone who can help you. Overtime, you will eventually reach a point in which you begin to think it is all your fault. That something is wrong with you, that there is something you did for everything that is happening, for all the pain you’re experiencing. And in the end, they just discard you as if you’re trash.

Don’t be the person who loves them enough to stay. Be the person who loves themselves enough to leave.

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