Here's my advice for having the best chance of keeping your partner happy and faithful (and in turn, your relationship healthy):
- If your partner is gonna be working and paying all the bills, then you should do most of the cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. No one wants a slob at home. If you have kids together, your partner should help with the kids when she or he is home. After all, your job (taking care of the kids) doesn't stop when your partner's does.
- Don’t be clingy. By clingy, I mean wanting to hang out with your partner 24/7, not giving them time to hang out with family and friends, and checking in on them every two minutes when they're not around. No one likes that.
- If your partner is treating you right and not giving you a reason to be suspicious, don’t make them think you don’t trust them. Don’t compare your partner to exes if they haven't giving you a reason to. I understand it’s hard to move on and trust someone new when you've been screwed over so many times before. But it’s also very hard for good people to deal with hearts they didn’t break.
- Give your partner consistent attention. It is very important. I don’t mean every hour of every day (that's just being clingy), but enough to show that you care.
- Give your partner affection. If you're the guy, cuddle her even if you don’t really like to. After all, she may not like giving mouth hugs, but she still does it because she likes to see you happy.
- Never make your partner think that you consider sex a chore. It's very important, make your partner feel wanted.
- Listen to your partner. When your partner is upset about something, do not ignore it. Don’t add to their frustration. Sometimes your partner just wants to vent, and simply listening will help them tremendously. Hold them and tell them everything is going to be OK.
- If you’re gonna be unavailable/gone for a while, you shouldn't have to seek your partner's consent before you go, but you should at least be considerate and let them know where you are going. Why? Because few things in a relationship are more important than peace of mind.
- Be honest with your partner. Communicate often. Even if something bothers you, let your partner know. Because the day you begin to be afraid of expressing your feelings to your partner, is the day your relationship might be turning into an abusive one, or at the very least crossed the line into an unhealthy one.
- Don’t talk behind your partner’s back, especially about petty things. You’re not gonna like every single thing your partner does, but that doesn’t mean you should air your dirty laundry; unless, of course, your partner is abusive or doing something dangerous or illegal, in which case you should definitely seek help from a third party.
- Learn to compromise. If your partner always gets their way or you always get yours, one of you will never truly be happy. Learn to find a middle ground. For instance, when it comes to watching movies or TV shows, I like the 1 of 3 (or 5) approach. That is, your partner picks three movies or shows, and out of those three, you pick one to watch.
- Don’t flirt with others. Flirting is an expression of interest, no matter how casual. Not really a good thing to be doing if you're supposed to be in a real monogamous relationship. Why? Because you’re basically putting down a mat that says, “Come hit on me."
- Remember important dates: anniversaries, birth dates, Valentine’s Day. Put it in your phone if you think you’ll forget. It’s not a monumental task.
- Do the small things: text your partner good morning. Ask how their day went. Buy them their favorite candy bar or soda on your way home. These are small things that will almost surely bring a smile.
- If you can help it, don’t let your partner go to bed sad or mad. Show them that at least one person close to them loves and cares about them.
- And for the love of God, put down your phones when you go out with each other. Social media and your friends will still be there when you get home.
Remember, I said "best chance," not for sure thing. If you do all this and your partner still doesn't appreciate you, then you need to move on. Don't be a fool and try to change them.